Making friends in early childhood

Making friends in early childhood

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Friend relations have a very important role in the development of the child. The first social relationship of the child, independent of the family, is usually the relationship he or she has established with friends. Since the need for friendship cannot be met within the family, families should support and encourage their children to make friends. However, some children may have difficulty making friends. This can sometimes be due to different reasons. Professor According to Dr Haluk Yavuzer, these reasons are listed as follows:

Child related factors:

1-Temperament characteristics (shyness)

2-Attention problems. (Hyperactivity)

3-Learning difficulties

4-Social skills problems

5-Difficulties in communication skills

6-Delays in physical, emotional or cognitive development.

7-Physical obstacle or repulsive physical appearance

8-Chronic diseases, frequent hospitalization, school absenteeism

9-Emotional difficulties (depression, anxiety, low self-esteem)

10-The child chooses to be alone

11-Social satisfaction and friendship needs of the child are largely met by family members.

12-Cultural values ​​do not match those of their peers

Family factors:

1-Parents' attitude (over-authoritarian or over-tolerant, indifferent-irrelevant) negatively affects the social development of the child

2-Parents engage the child with the time and energy they need to develop friendships, with the programmed activities and tasks that limit it.

3-Inadequate social skills of parents; the child does not have a good model

4-Parents are overly critical and negative about the child's choice of friends

5-Parents are depressed, mental health is impaired

6-Parents are substance addicts

7-Violence of education of parents

8-Stress and / or abuse in the family

9-Parental over-protection of the child or imposing excessive limitations on activities

Environmental-Social Factors:

1-Family living in an isolated rural area

2-Home away from school

3-A small number of children in the vicinity

4-Family travel to remote areas every summer vacation

5-Economic problems of the family

6-Family or cultural differences in language

7-The lack of environment for children to socialize

8- Dressing, behavior and other differences between children and peer group (Yavuzer, 2002)

What can you do?

1. Evaluate the above reasons and if you think that one or more of these causes affect your child, try to find solutions to eliminate it. You can get help from an expert.

2. If the child does not have many friends, he / she should give him / her interests in which he / she can make friends. Parents can help their child find interest by giving them the opportunity. These fields are; sporting activities such as karate, football, swimming or positive social activities.

3. Support your child to make friends, but do not force him / her. Sometimes some children don't want to have too many friends, they just want to be with their close friends. Do not force your child in this regard, respect his needs.

4. Care and respect your own friends. Your child will take an example of your behavior.

5. Teach your child to share and empathize.

6. Guide your child how to behave in different social situations.

Utilized resources:

Moore, Shirley G. (1992). The role of parents in the development of peer group acceptance. Clearinghouse on Elementary and Early Childhood Education. //

Shonkoff, JP & Phillips, D.A. (Eds). (2000). From neurons to neighborhoods: making friends and getting along with peers.

Washington: D.C., National Academy Press. Wisconsin's Early Childhood Excellence Initiative. (2003).




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