Rebellious children without borders

Rebellious children without borders

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Boundary concept; it can be defined as the child's gaining self-control and the 'stopping point' in his social environment. Psychologist Selcen Erdemir Akdan from Magic Park Intelligence Academy tells the curiosity about setting limits.

You went shopping; o very smart, insightful son suddenly when you say you can not get the toy you want to react and begins to recoil in places ... You've played a pleasant game with your daughter at home and you want to relax, read your newspaper, but it does not allow you to read your newspaper crying on a sunny Sunday, you took your child to the park to take advantage of and you think you play to the fullest. It's time to go home, but he insists on staying in the park, expressing his anger by hitting you…

All these troublesome situations every mother and father experiences from time to time. And this is considered to be part of the normal development process, especially between the ages of 2-4 years. However, in some families, these situations are observed more frequently and parents find it more difficult for the child to obey the child. On top of that, these parents are trying to offer every opportunity to the child and trying to make him happy by doing whatever he wants. Is it right in child education to give him the right to do what he wants at any time, or to give him the right to act freely within these boundaries?

Boundary concept; it can be defined as the child's gaining self-control and the 'stopping point' in his social environment. From a young age, the concept of border begins to develop in the child and the role of the family is very important for a healthy settlement of this formation.

Let's look at how children form behavior patterns;

The boy who tries to get to know the world enters into a great discovery. With this desire to explore,

  • Observes the people around him,
  • Imitates them with the data obtained,
  • Constructs behavioral patterns by looking at the reactions it receives as a result of imitation.

In this respect, it is useful to control your reactions to your child's behavior.

It is important that the response to a child's behavior is consistent. However, it is even more important that the parent is determined to respond. Because children pay attention to visual indicators rather than verbal expressions, and in this context your gestures and gestures should be consistent with words that come out of your mouth. (Your child will laugh and think you have approved it).

Drawing limits to the child does not limit it, but contributes to self-development.

It means. The child is very foreign and ignorant as well as an extreme desire to explore. It will be more beneficial for your child to establish freedom within these limits by drawing the non-hazardous limits.

These limits are drawn by the environment in which the child lives;

  • Allows definition of approved behaviors,
  • It gives a sense of security. There is a sense of security within the limits.

- I can try it freely because I have a family to hold me when I go out of bounds. They are more experienced than me, and it hurts when I go out of the 'really' limits.

  • Define interpersonal relationships.
  • It is the measure of growth; As the child grows, the boundaries expand and the child grows up with the relative freedom.

To give the child a limit, at the same time, the power to choose between alternatives; Emotion, impulse and behavior control - by taking responsibility for their behavior - and the ability to properly request their desires from the environment. When the children in the families whose borders are not clearly drawn leave the free environment of the house and join the regular and systematic structure of the social environment, they face negative reactions such as being pushed out of the group and disapproved and have difficulty in adapting to the canonical structure. One day, your child, who directs decisions at home and whose daily activity program is made according to him, will one day join the society alone and have to respect the plans and decisions of others, wait his turn to get what he wants, and control his emotions and behaviors. In this context, determining the boundaries of the child during the development process will prepare him / her for the pluralistic structure of the social environment and make it less difficult for the socialization process.

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