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Family communication; it is an important issue for the continuity of the family and healthy, rational relations. Problems in family communication and the importance of communication International Hospital Istanbul Psychiatry Specialist Ali Ayas's views with you.
It is possible to think of the family as a minimized example of the world. To understand the world, you need to take a closer look at the family. Issues such as power, proximity, autonomy, sense of trust and communication skills; it is also the basis of our way of life in the world. Ay Family life is like an iceberg, Ali says Ali Ayas. Most people are aware of only a small part of the events in the family. They suspect that more is happening than they can see and hear, but they don't know exactly what happened. This obscurity can put the family on a dangerous path. Just as the fate of the sailor depends on knowing the invisible part of the iceberg; The fate of the family is also based on understanding the underlying emotions and needs of daily family events.
Common characteristics of troubled families
• Low self-esteem,
• Indirect, ambiguous and insincere,
• Strict, cruel, indisputable and unchangeable,
• Their relationship with the society is accusatory and frightening.
Common characteristics of healthy families
• People have high self-confidence,
• Communication is direct, clear, clear, distinct and honest,
• The rules are flexible, human, appropriate and variable according to the circumstances,
• The social bond is open, promising and based on the right to choose.
Importance of communication in family life
Communication is like a giant umbrella that covers what's happening between people. When one comes to the world, communication is perhaps the most important factor that determines what kind of relations with others and what will happen in life. All communication skills can be learned and transformed into the desired form over time. Communication has two main elements: verbal and physical communication
Dr. Ayas said, oluşturan What constitutes verbal communication is our ability to speak. Physical communication consists of facial expression, posture, contraction rates, breathing tempo, tone of voice and hand-to-arm movements. Erek He says: Mismatch and inconsistency between the two forms of communication cause two different messages to be transmitted to the other party. This type of message disorder in the family can make the individual doubtful about his self-confidence.
Where is the error in communication?
Another communication error in the family is communication patterns. It can be thought that all people have similar communication patterns. People who encounter a stressful event; they act with four main patterns, begging, blaming, calculating, or scattered. “These attitudes are the manifestation of what people feel in the weakness of self-confidence. Dr. Ayas continues: kişi A person who feels a threat begs first to avoid revealing his own weakness. Thus, he thinks that it will prevent the anger of the other side. The accused person tries to give the message to karşı let him know who is strong ”. The individual exhibiting computational attitude; he can approach the threat harmlessly and conceal his confidence behind big words. Another pattern of behavior, scattered attitude; to act as if there is no threatening element by talking about things that are not relevant. There are several reasons why a person may use these patterns in times of difficulty. Worry about making mistakes, anxiety that someone will dislike and criticize him; a few of them. ”
A small example of family communication
About family communication Ayas gives an interesting example: diyalog Dialogues between a child whose room is scattered and his parents can develop in several different ways. For example, a “pleading ebeveyn means a parent's desire; "I'm too tired. Actually, if I wasn't tired, I'd pack your room, you know. But let's collect what happens today ”. Ebeveyn You're always so messy and sloppy. Anyway, you can't get your room together. Let me collect. ” Sometimes the parents take a “calculating tutum attitude and say, topla Come on, pack up your room before your parents see it. Then I promise that I will get you the toy you want. Kendilerini For example, if the attitude is evaluated as “scattered;; while the parent takes care of the mobile phone, he also talks to the child: mi Is your room like your brother's? All right, well, you'il check it out later. Don't forget to do your homework. ” If the rational parent should do, “Your room is messy. You didn't make your bed this morning. Once you've collected your room, come up to me and we'il talk about what went wrong. Let's take a look at the rules again..
Individuals who are able to apologize without damaging their self-confidence, express their anger without breaking and pouring out their counterparts when necessary, have taken the lead in a healthy communication. Let us not forget that a healthy communication means a healthy family.